How to be good and dutiful to your Parents

A. Introduction:
There are many days set aside in non-
Islamic societies to honour and appreciate
special people; examples of these are
Father's Day, Mother's Day, Memorial Day
and Labour Day. In Islam, however,
respecting, honouring and appreciating
parents is not just for a single day of the
year, but rather for each and every day.
B. Parents in the Quran:
A Muslim child should respect and appreciate his or her
parents on a daily basis. Allaah mentions that human
beings must recognise their parents and that this is
second only to the recognition of Allaah Himself.
Throughout the Quran, we notice that parents are
mentioned with appreciation and respect, even if they are
senile. In the Quran, there is a very beautiful description of
how parents are to be treated; Allaah Says (what means):
"And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except
Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both
of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them
[so much as] 'uff' [i.e., an expression of irritation or
disapproval] and do not repel them but speak to them a
noble word. And lower to them the wing of humility out of
mercy and say: 'My Lord! Have mercy upon them as they
brought me up [when I was] small.'" [Quran 17:23-24]
The recognition and respect of parents is mentioned in the
Quran eleven times; in every instance, Allaah reminds
children to recognise and to appreciate the love and care
that they have received from their parents. One such
example is when Allaah says what means: "And We have
enjoined upon man goodness to parents…" [Quran 29:8 &
46:15]
1.  The demand for recognising parents is made more
emphatic when Allaah Says (what means): "And [recall]
when We took the covenant from the Children of Israel,
[enjoining upon them]: 'Do not worship except Allaah; and
to parents, do good…'" [Quran 2:83]
2.  Allaah again emphasises in chapter An-Nisaa' that
children should be kind to their parents. He says what
means: "Worship Allaah and associate nothing with Him,
and to parents do good..." [Quran 4:36]
3. In Chapter Al-An'aam, Allaah reemphasises that people
should be kind to their parents; He says what means: "Say:
'Come, I will recite what your Lord has prohibited to you.
[He commands] that you not associate anything with Him,
and to parents, good treatment...'" [Quran 6:151]
C. Mothers:
Although Islam recognises both parents, mothers are given
particular gratitude and respect. This can be appreciated if
we reflect upon the hardships and suffering that mothers
experience in their lives. In this regard, there is a Hadeeth
of the Prophet : It was narrated by Abu Hurayrah
that a man came to the Prophet and asked
him: 'Who is most deserving of my close companionship?'
He replied: “Your mother; your mother; your mother;
then your father; then the next closest to you in kinship;
then the one next closest.”
Islam has endorsed respect for parents by their children,
even if the parents are non-Muslims. If parents strive to
convert their children to non-Islamic beliefs, the children
should not obey them, but must still maintain goodness
towards them. In this regard, Allaah says what means:
"And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents.
His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon
weakness, and his weaning is two years. Be grateful to Me
and your parents; to Me is the [final] destination. But if
they endeavour to make you associate with Me that of
which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but
accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness
and follow the way of those who turn back to Me [in
repentance]. Then to Me will be your return, and I will
inform you about what you used to do." [Quran 31:14-15]
D. More Respect:
Islam teaches us that of the most beloved deeds to
Allaah, having respect for one's parents is second only to
that of prayer and is greater than that of Jihaad (fighting
in His cause). In this respect, Abu 'Abdur-Rahmaan
'Abdullaah Ibn Mas’ood narrated the following: "I
asked the Prophet : 'Which deed is the most beloved
to Allaah?' He replied: "Prayers performed on time." I
then asked: 'Which one is next?' He replied: "Goodness to
parents." I then asked: 'Which is next?' He replied: "Jihaad
in the path of Allaah.""
In Islam, respect for parents is so great that the child and
his wealth are considered to be the property of the
parents: `Aa’ishah narrated that a man came to the
Prophet in order to resolve a dispute that he had
with his father regarding a loan he had given him. The
Prophet said to the man: "You and your wealth are to
(i.e., the property of) your father."
E. Final Remarks:
We hope and pray that all of us will respect our parents
while they are alive and after their death. One can honour
his parents after their death through the following methods:
1.        Performing daily Du'aa' (supplication) for them.
2.        Giving charity on their behalf.
3. Instituting a perpetual charity on their behalf, such
as a mosque, an Islamic Centre, an Islamic library, an
Islamic hospital, an orphanage, etc.
4.        Performing Hajj on their behalf, or asking someone
to do so.
5.        Distributing Islamic literature on their behalf.
Let us pray to Allaah that we do our best to respect our
parents, honour them, be kind to them, assist them, and
please them so that we may attain the love of Allaah.
O Allaah! Accept our humble prayers and make us
obedient slaves to You.
O Allaah! Help us to be respectful children to our parents.
Aameen.

From: the Islam web

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