Two Wrongs

TWO WRONGS

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Many people complain that wives "nag" a lot, in fact to find a woman who doesn't nag is like looking for a nail in the desert. YES

How about men who nag too? There are men who can quarell with their wives for hours

nonstop, he will even step out so that all the neighbours will hear, he will even be doing (mtooor and wanka) at his wife.

Such are typical of idle husbands. It's only a man who is jobless that will have the time to drag an issue with a woman all day long.

On the other hand, some other group of husbands always want to settle disputes instantly but they are hot-tempered, they start shouting at their wives even in the presence of the children or visitors. This is equally wrong. Two wrongs do not make a right.

Rather, if you see something annoying from your wife, just use a sign language to call her attention, enter a private room with her, close and lock the door, sit her down, with a very calm and low voice, tell her your grievances, correct her and trash the issue mutually. She would give a listening ear. It hurts a woman when you correct her or shout at her in thepresence of her kids, her kids see her as a mentor and icon, if you deface her before them, they won't respect her anymore, they would begin to see her as a matured fool. You won't understand.

Dear husband, imagine you are a school teacher, all your students respect and fear you so much because of the way you discipline them, if it happens that one day you arrive late to school and while you are teaching the kids, the principal starts shouting at you and condemning you for your lateness in front of your students, how would you feel? Do you understand now? That's how your wife feels too.

The prophet (Salallahu Alaehi Wasallam) had some guests which he received in Aisha's chambers, he asked if Aisha had anything he can offer the guests, Aisha declined. So ummee Salamah volunteered to get something for the guests. While she was coming with the dishes, Aisha got jealous and broke ummee Salamah's tray of food with a brick and It spilled on the floor. 

The prophet (Salallahu Alaehi Wasallam) calmly bent down and picked the broken plates, and said: A new plate will replace the broken ones and a new food will replace the spoilt food.

Look at the hikmah with which the prophet (Salallahu Alaehi Wasallam) settled an issue before guests, he didn't start insulting or shouting at Aisha for creating an ugly scene, rather he simply ordered Aisha to give her own plate to ummee Salamah in replacement as well as the food.

Its annoying and embarrassing the way some husbands scream at their wives in the presence of his guests. Stop torturing her emotionally. Even if couples have a misunderstanding, and they are in a

silent mood, if a visitor comes in, the couples should PRETEND and start smiling and interacting as if all is well, when the visitors have gone, they can now continue the silent

mood from where they stopped. 

Don't publicize your marriage in an ugly way. Don't sell your marriage for a miserable price.

The value of the tears of a wife is not easy to understand if your heart is not soft, if she ever drops a tear, it shows her husband that he means more to her than he knows. 

A tear contain 1% water and 99% feelings. If you genuinely love her, do not decorate her eyes with tears and her heart with wounds. So wipe her tears away and make sure she has a

dimple.

If she's amazing, she won't be easy. If she's easy, she won't be amazing. If she's worth it, you won't give up. If you give up, you're not worth it.

Do not hurt the heart that loves you. 

May Allah give us sobur to manage our home....Aamiin