Etiquette of Entering House that is not yours

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ᴇᴛɪQᴜᴇᴛᴛᴇꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴇɴᴛᴇʀɪɴɢ ᴀ ʜᴏᴜꜱᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪꜱɴ’ᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀꜱ

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Allāh says

یَـٰۤأَیُّهَا ٱلَّذِینَ ءَامَنُوا۟ لَا تَدۡخُلُوا۟ بُیُوتًا غَیۡرَ بُیُوتِكُمۡ حَتَّىٰ تَسۡتَأۡنِسُوا۟ وَتُسَلِّمُوا۟ عَلَىٰۤ أَهۡلِهَاۚ ذَ ٰ⁠لِكُمۡ خَیۡرࣱ لَّكُمۡ لَعَلَّكُمۡ تَذَكَّرُونَ﴿ ٢٧ ﴾

𝗢 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝗯𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗲𝘃𝗲! 𝗘𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲𝘀 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗼𝘄𝗻, 𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗹 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗮𝘀𝗸𝗲𝗱 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗴𝗿𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺, 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗯𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂, 𝗶𝗻 𝗼𝗿𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗺𝗮𝘆 𝗿𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿.

An-Nur, Ayah 27

Before you enter any house (of a Muslim) there are two things you must do:

1. Tasleem (Assalamu alaykum)

2. Seek permission (to enter).

So, they say you will say ”Assalamu Alaykum, May I enter? ”.

So why the separation of tasleem and seeking permission? Because when you make tasleem you announce your presence and people begin to get themselves prepared to receive you. The women in the house will be scrambling to get their hijab or leave the area. The man may be improperly dressed to receive a guest. This is why it is best you seek for permission and wait to be granted before you attempt to enter. This is expected even if you are entering your best friend’s house or brother’s house, in as much as it is not considered your house, like your own house or your parent’s.

Here is where it gets interesting. 

What if you aren’t permitted to enter? Allāh says

فَإِن لَّمۡ تَجِدُوا۟ فِیهَاۤ أَحَدࣰا فَلَا تَدۡخُلُوهَا حَتَّىٰ یُؤۡذَنَ لَكُمۡۖ وَإِن قِیلَ لَكُمُ ٱرۡجِعُوا۟ فَٱرۡجِعُوا۟ۖ هُوَ أَزۡكَىٰ لَكُمۡۚ وَٱللَّهُ بِمَا تَعۡمَلُونَ عَلِیمࣱ﴿ ٢٨ ﴾

𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗻𝗼 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗶𝗻, 𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗹𝗹, 𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗹 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝗯𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝗴𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗻. 𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝘀𝗸𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗴𝗼 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸, 𝗴𝗼 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸, 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗶𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗽𝘂𝗿𝗲𝗿 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗔𝗹𝗹𝗮𝗵 𝗶𝘀 𝗔𝗹𝗹-𝗞𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝗳 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗼.

An-Nur, Ayah 28

So, if you do not get a response granting you permission, or you are outrightly denied permission, you return home. Allāh expressly said

فإن قيل ارجعوا فارجعوا

If you are asked to turn back then turn back for that is purer for you.

A man in his house is the king and leader, and decides who enters, who doesn’t, and when. He may be busy in his house or may even be in an intimate session with his wife and thus unable to see you. He is therefore under no compulsion to see you and if you are asked to turn back or do not get a response when you sought permission, you have no right bear ill will or have bad thoughts about the person.

Finally, this is a better solution than lying when someone you do not wish to see comes to your house. Rather than send your son to lie of your absence, simply remain silent and don’t grant him permission to enter, although ignorant folks may misinterpret this, wallahu a’lam.

May Allāh increase us in beneficial knowledge.

A. Haroun