Marital Advices and Consultancy

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💞 *Marital Advices and Consultancy* 🔻

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Marital advices are not absolute, such that you expect it to fit perfectly in every kind of marriage. A supposedly very good marital advice may spell doom for some homes! ⭕

*'Be patient' is a popular marrital advice, but patience has lead to some women being killed by a violent husband and some men killed by their jealous wife!*

 

Does that mean patience is a bad advice to give? Certainly not! The givers and readers of advice should come to terms with the fact that there is no marital advice that is absolute. 💯

 There is a time to be patient, a time to bare your mind, a time to take precautions, a time to take measures and a time to flee!

If your marriage is working, don't rush to implement new advice you see out there because you want to make it 'better'. 

You may just complicate matters for yourself. Do you really need that advice? Is it applicable to your home? Does that really define your spouse? Women are quick to call their husband irresponsible for instance. Is he really irresponsible or a victim of circumstance?

 If he is the latter and you now chose to implement the advice on how to deal with an irresponsible husband in your home you may just end up causing irreparable damage to your marriage. Be sincere and truthful to yourself!

 

 

Men are supposed to be sole providers for the house. This is what Islām preaches as the default. What of the case of a man who was the sole provider who eventually lost his job, so the wife had to step in to fill the void.

He may read a post that vehemently criticises men whose wife 'take care of them' and then he despairs, but he needed not to as that wasn't meant for him. Such a woman too needs to be praised to high heavens and supported, rather than being made to feel like a fool or instigated to be rebelious because of her husband's financial incapacity.

The problem is not necessarily with the advices themselves. It is the finite tone some writers/givers use and the fact that people tend to take everything they read/hear hook, line and sinker. I have noted with dismay that elderlies using social media and other online platforms tend to have a mindset that whatever they read online is true by default and refers to them. 

This is dangerous! Because you read of a woman who murdered her husband doesn't mean your wife is planning to murder you. Because you read of rising cases of paternity frauds doesn't mean you start questioning your wife's fidelity! 🚫

Nobody knows your marriage the way you do. You are in the best position to come up with a workable solution to your marital problems while the advices of others can be studied for possible consideration. Your friend's marital recommendations are not necessarily always right. As a matter of fact, you need to be careful whom you take as friend(s) and the advice you take from them.

 It is not everything that goes on in your marriage that you divulge even to that person you call 'best friend'. Many have made this mistake and come to lick their wounds!

 

💙 Marriage is a delicate union, and there is seldom one rule that fits for all. What blossoms for one may boomerang for another. Yield to good sense, overlook mistakes and understand your differences!

May Allaah bless our homes. 🙏 

A. Haroun

@1000dawah