Do Christians expect me to believe all these

Christians expect me to believe
👉God gave birth to himself through a woman he created.

👉 God was beaten to death by the people he created.

👉 God was nutured, breastfed and grew up like every man.

👉 God had to take food from the field of the people he created.

👉 God was tempted by Satan who he created.

👉 God was taught the language of his country by the people around him

👉 God is a servant of himself (acts 3:13)

👉 God is a man

👉 God died for their sins when he himself said no man can die for another person's sin.

👉 God cried

👉 No one could see God without dying
instantly and people saw God without dying instantly.

👉 God seeks the help of another God.

👉 God is not good but another God is good.

👉 God lied that he doesn't sleep yet he did

👉 God begs another God for help

👉 God submits to the will of another God

👉 God passed through the sex organ of a female

👉 God is a carpenter.

👉 God bowed down to another God in worship.

👉 God ran away from his enemies, men whom he created.

👉 God can't do things by himself.

👉 God was commanded by the people he created to carry some cross and he obeyed.

So many more that I can't think of and that I don't even know.

But if you replace this God with a prophet, it becomes very reasonable and believable.
This is what we Muslims believe except 2.

The Christians know their bible contain over a thousand contradictions and they can't deny it so they try to find contradictions in the Qur'an by translating it wrongly, sadly for them, each time they do, they are corrected by Muslim scholars and Muslim students.