How to be a good Husband

A Muslim male friend of mine shared this article with
me on Watsapp and I so love it. I have decided to
share it with all the Muslim brothers on Nairaland. It
is however beneficial to the Christian brothers too.
It is insightful and very lovely.
QUALITIES OF A GOOD HUSBAND: From Islamic Research
Foundation.
Husbands with goals to nurture happy wives…
No one ever thinks about the characteristics of a
Muslim husband. It is always what a wife should do
for the husband… and the list never ends; home
management, tutoring, ferrying the kids, caring,
cooking, cleaning, washing, working, you name it,
she does it. So what about the brothers?
Our beloved Nabi SAW was not EVER lazy, so why the
men of this Ummah? It is quite interesting, so I
thought I’d share it with you!!!
What a Muslim husband should be like…
DRESS UP FOR YOU WIFE , look clean and smell good.
When was the last time you went shopping for
designer pyjamas? Just like the husband wants the
wife to look nice for him, she also wants her husband
to dress up for her too. Remember that Nabi (SAW)
would always start with Miswak when returning home
and always loved the sweetest smells.
USE THE BEST NAMES FOR YOUR WIFE. Call your wife
by the most beloved names to her, and avoid using
names that hurt her feelings.
DON’T TREAT HER LIKE A FLY. We never think about a
fly in our daily lives until it ‘bugs’ us. Similarly, a
wife will do well all day – which brings no attention
from her husband – until she does something to
‘bug’ him. Don’t treat her like this; recognize all
good that she does and focus on that.
IF YOU SEE WRONG FROM YOUR WIFE, TRY BEING SILENT
AND DO NOT COMMENT. This is one of the ways Nabi
(SAW) used when he would see something
inappropriate from his wives (R.A). It is a technique
that few Muslim men have mastered.
SMILE AT YOUR WIFE WHENEVER YOU SEE HER, AND
EMBRACE HER OFTEN. Smiling is Sadaqah and your
wife is not exempted from the Muslim Ummah.
Imagine life with her constantly seeing you smiling.
Remember also those Ahadith when Nabi (SAW) would
kiss his wife before leaving for Salah, even when he
was fasting.
THANK HER FOR ALL THAT SHE DOES FOR YOU. Then,
thank again! Take for example a dinner at your
house. She makes food, cleans the home, and a
dozen other tasks to prepare before your return.
And sometimes the only acknowledgement she
receives is that there needed to be more slat in the
soup. Don’t let that be; thank her! Nabi (SAW) use
to help his wives with the housework, he mended his
own clothes, and patched his own footwear. Never
forget – what your wife does for you without any
assistance is actually out of her goodness, much of
tasks today’s wife does is actually a favour to
you,. Acknowledge it. Be grateful.
ASK HER TO WRITE THE LAST TEN THINGS YOU DID FOR
HER THAT MADE HER HAPPY. Then go and do them
again. It may be hard to recognize what gives your
wife pleasure. You don’t have to play a guessing
game, ask her and work on repeating those times in
your life.
DON’T BELITTLE HER DESIRES, COMFORT HER,
sometimes the men may look down upon the requests
of their wives. Nabi (SAW) set the example for us in
an incident when Safiyyah (R.A) was crying because,
as she said, he had put her on a slow camel. He
wiped her tears, comforted her and brought her the
camel.
BE HUMOROUS, PLAY GAMES WITH YOUR WIFE, and
surprise her once in a while with gifts. Nabi (SAW)
encouraged the giving of gifts. Look at how he
would race with his wife Aisha (R.A) in the desert.
When was the last time we did something like that?
DON’T EVER REFER TO YOUR WIFE IN THE THIRD
PERSON , and never in a negative or mocking manner,
even if you right. Remember, she is the mother of
your children. She deserves their respect and honour
more than anyone else in the world. Don’t promote
and advertise yourself as better than her. Let Allah
be the judge, protect her dignity. Woman was not
made from man’s head to be superior over, or his
feet to be trampled on. She emerged from his side to
walk next to, from under the arm to be protected
and near the heart to be loved and valued.
DON’T FEEL INTIMIDATED BY YOUR WOMAN’S
STRENGTHS OR APTITUDE. Admire her and treat her as
an equal as in the eyes of Allah. Encourage her,
support her and be there for her, support her and be
there for her. Allah has not granted superiority of
one over the other, but rather, has assigned each
different tasks according to the uniqueness of His
male and female creation. Nabi (SAW) has said that
if he would have commanded bowing to any other
aside from Allah, it would have been the wife to the
husband. This is not a matter of inflating your ego,
but to underline how much you need to do for her so
as to have earned this status. Remember, your
attitude towards her would determine the depth of
her love for you, her appreciation, and the warmth
of her behavior towards you.
DON’T BE A ‘RULER’. Be a mediator; compassionate,
loving, understanding, compromising. This is what wins
a woman’s heart, nothing more, nothing less. Hear
her cries for acceptance, don’t complicate matters
for her, make things easier. Always remember the
words of Allah’s Message (SAW): ‘The best of you
are those who treat their families the best. And I
am the best among you to my family.’ Try to be the
best!
EVERY TIME YOU SEE YOUR WIFE, DON’T ORDER HER TO
DO SOMETHING, NEITHER COMPLAIN ABOUT ANYTHING .
She’ll begin to avoid you and your company like the
plague! Stop finding faults with her all the time;
she’ll lose respect for you. Treat others as you
would like to be treated. Use Hikmah (Tact), be
diplomatic. And be considerate, do things to develop
her love for you and strengthen the bond.
NEVER EVER COMPARE YOUR WIFE TO YOUR MOTHER,
SISTER, SISTER-IN-LAW, OR ANY FEMALE, who is
supposedly better than she is. Don’t praise other
women so as to make her feel as if she ‘doesn’t-
cut-the-cloth.’ This spells disaster for her self-
confidence, and stunts love between spouses. She’ll
begin to feel inferior, and in her desire to live up to
your expectations, she’ll soon feel taken for
granted, because you’d never recognize her
attempts. But, always find something else that’s
not right or needs to be bettered. Your wife will
soon begin to despise you, she’d feel like your
servant, a wall-fly, because it’s always ‘so hard to
please you’ and you’re ‘never satisfied.’ So, please
be cognizant of this habit!
In conclusion, everyone has weaknesses, find
agreeable ways of working around them together.
Never forget to make Dua to Allah ta’ala to make
your marriage successful. And Allah ta’ala knows
best.
CC: Maclatunji
Ishilove
Lalasticlala
Mukina2

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