Daughters In Islam

Daughters in Islam
Allaah Almighty says (what means): “To Allaah belongs
the dominion of the heavens and the earth; He creates
what He wills. He gives to whom He wills female
[children], and He gives to whom He wills males. Or He
makes them [both] males and females, and He renders
whom He wills barren. Indeed, He is Knowing and
Competent.”[Quran 49:50] Allaah is the One, based on
His ultimate wisdom, who grants whomever He wills
sons and daughters; He grants sons only to whomever
He wills, and grants daughters only to whomever He
wills, and if He so wills, He makes whomever He wills
infertile.
We notice in the above verse that the mention of
daughters preceded that of sons, and the
scholars commented on this saying: “This is to
hearten daughters and encourage kindness towards them,
because many fathers feel burdened by receiving a
daughter. The common practice of the people during the
pre-Islamic era was to hate receiving daughters, to the
extent that they would bury them alive; therefore, it is as
if Allaah is saying to people: `This inferior child in your
estimation takes precedence in My scale.' He also
mentions daughters first to indicate their weakness, and
that they are therefore more deserving of care and
attention.”
Such honouring of daughters is the complete opposite of
how people were accustomed to dealing with females in
the pre-Islamic era, when they would degrade women and
consider them a part of their wealth, and if news of a
baby girl would come to any of them, it would be as if he
was hit by a thunderstorm; Allaah says (what means):
which means: “And when one of them is informed of [the
birth of] a female, his face becomes dark, and he
suppresses grief. He hides himself from the people
because of the ill of which he has been informed. Should
he keep it in humiliation or bury it in the ground?
Unquestionably, evil is what they decide.” [Quran 58:59]
It is said that some enemies of Qays ibn ‘Aasim At-
Tameemi, who was a pre-Islamic Arab, attacked his
premises and captured his daughter. Later, one of these
enemies married her. After some time, the clan of Qays
and that of his enemies reconciled, so they gave this
daughter of his the freedom to go back to her father or
remain with her husband, and she preferred to stay with
her husband. At that point, Qays took a pledge upon
himself to bury alive any new daughter that he would
receive, and the Arabs imitated him after that. It was,
therefore, this man who introduced this evil practice, and
thus he will shoulder his own sin as well as the sin of all
those who did it thereafter.
One of the companions who had killed his daughter
in the era that preceded Islam narrated his story: "We
would worship idols in the pre-Islamic era and kill our
daughters. I had a daughter, who, when she was old
enough to comprehend and talk, would rejoice whenever
she saw me and would immediately respond. One day, I
called her and told her to follow me, so she did, until we
reached a well that belonged to my tribe. I then took her
by her hand and threw her in the well, and the last thing I
heard her cry was: ‘O father! O father!'" (Ad-Daarimi)
During the era that preceded Islam, there were two
methods that people used to kill their daughters:
· At the time of the delivery of the child, a man would
order his wife to give birth next to a hole dug in the
ground; if the newborn was a male, she would return
home with him, otherwise, she would throw her into the
pit and bury her alive, or:
· When the daughter reached six years of age, the man
would tell his wife to adorn and perfume her, then he
would take her to a well in the desert and tell her to look
down into the well; when she would do this, he would
push her into it from behind.
There were some men among these people who would
forbid such acts, such as Sa’sa’ah ibn Naajiyah At-
Tameemi, who would go to those attempting to kill their
daughter offering money to ransom their lives.
There are people nowadays who share these same pre-
Islamic beliefs; if they are granted only girls, which is of
course something decreed only by Allaah, they become
angry, discontent and grieved.
With the advent of Islam, the darkness of that era
vanished and Allaah enjoined kindness, love and
compassion towards girls. Taking good care of girls was
encouraged, as was giving them special attention in the
process of their upbringing. In fact, Islam has designated
a special reward for raising them that is not granted for
raising sons. Anas reported that the
Prophet said: "He who raises two daughters until
their puberty will be with me in Paradise like this" , and
he symbolized the proximity by showing two of his
fingers with a slight gap between them." (Muslim)
`Aa’ishah related: "A woman by the name of
Jameelah came to me with her two daughters. She
asked me for charity but found nothing with me except a
date, which I gave her. She divided it between her two
daughters and ate nothing herself; then, she got up and
left. After this, the Messenger of Allaah came, so I
narrated this story to him; he said: “He who is
involved (in the responsibility) of (nurturing) daughters
and is generous to them, will have them as a fortification
for himself against the Hellfire.” (Al-Bukhaari & Muslim)
In another narration of this incident,
`Aa’ishah related: "A poor woman came to me with
her two daughters. I gave her three dates; she gave each
of them a date and was about to eat the third one when
one of her daughters asked her for it, so she divided it
between her two daughters and ate nothing herself, and I
liked what she did. After this, the Messenger of
Allaah came, so I told him what she did, and
he said: 'Allaah obligated Paradise for her due to
this date, and (also) freed her from Hell.'" (Muslim)
Pay close attention to wording of the following narration:
the Prophet said: “He who is tested by (the
guardianship) of daughters….” Why did he use the
word: “…tested…” ? He said it because raising them is a
responsibility and a test from Allaah to see how His
slave would act: Will he be kind to them? Will he raise
them correctly?
The nature of this responsibility was further clarified in
other narrations, such as: “If he patiently feeds them and
endows them with clothing …"(Ibn Maajah)., and: “…
Provides for them and marries them off…” (At-
Tabaraani)., and: “…Properly raises them and fears
Allaah in the manner in which he deals with them.” (At-
Tirmithi)
This is what is required when dealing with daughters:
kindness, which results in Paradise, as the
Prophet said: “Whoever Allaah has given two
daughters and is kind towards them, will have them as a
reason for him to be admitted
into Paradise.” And: “Whoever Allaah has given three
daughters and he perseveres through raising them, will
have them as a shield for him from the Hellfire on the
Day of Resurrection.”
A daughter is a great bounty and an honour granted by
Allaah, Imaam Al-Hasan said: “Girls are a source
of reward and sons are a blessing; rewards are in one's
favour (on the Day of Judgement) whereas one will be
held accountable for blessings.”
Thus, it is incorrect to believe that one has been
humiliated by being granted a girl; rather it is an honour,
a bounty and a gate towardsParadise. Daughters are a
greate responsibility to rear, and entail greater
expenditure, and this is why the reward for raising them
correctly is greater than that for a son.
Once, one of the leaders of the believers was receiving
people when a small daughter of his entered the room, so
he kissed her; a Bedouin was also in attendance and saw
this, so he mentioned daughters in a very evil manner. A
wise man who was also present witnessed all of this and
therefore said: "O leader of the believers! Do not listen to
him. I swear by Allaah, that it is they (i.e., girls) who
stay up to care for the sick in the family, who show
mercy towards the elders, and who stand next to men
during hardships."
A man was granted a baby girl, so he became angry and
isolated himself from his wife for a long time, and after
few months, he overheard his wife reciting the verse
(which means): “…But perhaps you hate a thing and it is
good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad
for you…” [Quran 2:216]
How many girls have been far more merciful and
beneficial to their parents than their brothers? How many
times has a son been a source of grief for his parents, to
the point that they wished he was never born?
Why do we raise this topic now? It is due to the vicious
attacks on the Muslims under the pretext of defending
'women’s rights' which is in reality an evil attempt to
play on the emotions of women so that they will become
rebellious towards their fathers and husbands, and to
encourage them to leave their homes and demand their
'freedom'. This is a gate towards evil and immorality
which gradually attracts women and then traps them in
prohibitions. One cause of girls falling into this is people
neglecting their daughters and undermining their rights,
which makes them easily fall into the traps of the
hypocritical writers and columnists, male and female,
who wish to see corruption prevail.
It is enough of an honour for girls that the Prophets may
Allaah exalt their mention, had daughters and that most
of the children of our beloved Prophet were
daughters, namely: Zaynab, Ruqayyah, Umm Kalthoom
and Faatimah .
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The fruit of raising daughters righteously is reward in this
life before reward in the Hereafter; this is proved by the
fact that Allaah rewarded the righteous man who raised
his two daughters virtuously, the result being Him
facilitating the marriage of one of them to the honourable
Prophet Moosaa .
The Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam would express
his love for his daughters by, for example, making
statements like “(My daughter) Faatimah is a part of
me, so whoever angers her angers me.” (Al-Bukhaari &
Muslim)
‘Aa'ishah recounted that Faatimah once
came walking in a manner identical to that of
the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam; When she
arrived, he stood up and exclaimed: “Welcome, my
daughter!” Then, he seated her to his side and whispered
into her ear, and what he had said caused her to cry;
then, he then whispered to her again, and she
laughed. 'Aa'ishah later asked her: "What made
you weep and then laugh?" She replied: "I will
never expose a secret that the Prophet entrusted
me with." After the death of the
Prophet 'Aa'ishah asked her the same
questions again, so she answered: "First, he informed me
that his death was near, so I cried. After that, he told me
that I will be the leader of the ladies ofParadise, so I
laughed." (Al-Bukhaari & Muslim)
'Aa'ishah said: “I have not seen anyone closer in
physical appearance and character to the
Prophet than his daughter Faatimah …
Whenever she would enter into his presence, he
would stand up and seat her in his place, and whenever
he would enter into her presence, she would stand
up, kiss him, and seat him in her place.”
This is how he cared for his daughters.
Zaynab who was another daughter of the
Prophet sent for him due to her child being close to
death, but the Prophet sent the messenger back to
her, telling him to tell her: "Whatever Allaah takes away
or gives, belongs to Him, and everything with Him has a
limited fixed term (in this world); and she should
therefore be patient and anticipate Allaah's reward.'' She
sent for him again, pleading with him for the sake of
Allaah to come. Therefore, the Messenger of
Allaah went, accompanied by Sa`d bin `Ubaadah,
Mu`aath bin Jabal, Ubayy bin Ka`b, Zayd bin Thaabit and
others . The child was lifted up to the Messenger of
Allaah while breathing heavily, in the last moments
before his death. Upon seeing this, the eyes of
the Prophet sallallaahu'alayhi wa sallam streamed with
tears as a result of compassion that Allaah had placed in
his heart. Due to this, Allaah caused the boy to be cured,
as Imaam Ibn Hajar stated.
The Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam would carry
Umaamah during prayer whilst standing, and place
her on the ground before prostrating. (Al-Bukhaari)
Once, Faatimah complained to him about
suffering due to strenuous housework, and that it was
causing her hands to roughen and develop marks;
he therefore taught her to mention Allaah before
going to bed by uttering 'Subhaan-Allaah' (i.e., glory be
to Allaah) and 'Al-Hamdulillaah' (i.e., all praise be to
Allaah) thirty-three times each, and thirty-four times
'Allaahu Akbar' (i.e., Allaah is the Greatest); he told
her that this would be better for her than the assistance
of a servant.
Also, when the family of Abu Jahl requested ‘Ali to
marry their daughter, he refused and said: “Never
will the daughter of the messenger of Allaah and the
daughter of the enemy of Allaah be under (the
guardianship of) one man. Faatimah is a part of me, and
whoever saddens her has harmed me.” He later
stood up and explained to the people that he was not
making unlawful what Allaah made lawful, nor was he
forbidding polygamy, but rather, he did what he did due to
Faatimah being the daughter of a messenger, which is a
special case, since no one is permitted to harm the
Messenger .
Faatimah was courageous and proud of Islam. In
the incident when her father was praying in front of
the Ka’bah and the disbelievers placed the guts of a
camel on his head whilst he was prostrating and then
laughed and mocked him, it was she who came,
by herself, and screamed at the disbelievers and then
removed the guts. (Muslim)
This is how the life of the Prophet was regarding
dealing with his daughters, so let us make it a guideline
by which we live.
Some people are truly hardhearted, to the point that they
do not express any emotions toward their children. It is a
disaster when a daughter is raised in such an emotional
vacuum, because it is easy for any evil person to then
affect her with his deceptive words and entice her into
his trap, and this is how the calamity of fornication
occurs. This is why we need to pay close attention to the
issue of daughters and grant them their due
consideration, especially when we live in an era where
everything evil is available and within reach.
It is indeed a great responsibility to satiate the emotions
of our daughters with the love they need from the hearts
of their merciful fathers, lest evil men do this instead to
achieve their vile objectives.
We must also give the same level of attention to our
sons in this regard, because the problems we hear
regarding our young men are due to the negligence of
their parents. What is our role? It is, as Allaah says
(what means): “O you who have believed! Protect
yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is
people and stones, over which are [appointed] angels,
harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allaah in what He
commands them but do what they are
commanded.” [Quran 66: 6] We must soften their hearts
with a warm smile whenever we see them, and speak to
them with merciful words.
If we do not pay attention to this issue, a day will come
when our communities will be just like the immoral and
dissolute ones.
A British survey of two thousand fathers found that:
“Forty-percent (40%) of fathers feel lonely and
depressed. They miss their sons, but miss their
daughters a lot more.”
Some contemporary hypocrites who write in newspapers
and magazines state that our daughters do not need
guardians. They oppose to the Law of Allaah in general,
and specifically the ruling that prohibits intermixing
between men and women; they demand that women
leave their homes and 'prove their ability'. Why do these
hypocrites wish to eradicate our honour? This mandates
even more care and attention towards our daughters; we
must raise them upon obedience to Allaah and His
messenger and upon adherence to the Hijaab; we
must not wait till they reach the age of puberty to
instruct them wear it, because it might then be too late
for them to accept it.
Some parents allow their daughters to wear dresses that
are revealing and which leave them naked, or almost
naked, and this is a far cry from correct cultivation. It is
not a reflection of love or mercy to our daughters to
allow them to have their own mobile phone, or to have a
satellite receiver in their rooms. It is not a sign of love
or mercy to allow them to go to places where immorality
is spread, or to parties, or salons where they pluck their
eyebrows, adorn themselves and then go out like that.
We must convince our daughters that these matters are
prohibited and that they must refrain from doing them,
but in order to convince them, they must experience our
love and see it in our dealings with them.

From: islamtruth4all

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